I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
