fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
