i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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