If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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