I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
did i just pee glitter
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
