Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
