I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
