Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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