...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
