Its about making memories worth repressing
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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