I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
