This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize