apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
