This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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