my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
