So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
