I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
