thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
