i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
