Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
