Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
