ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
