hell yes lets make some ravioli
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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