Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
