He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
