At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
