what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
