Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
