A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
