you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
