I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
