i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
