Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
