so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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