we have officially lost it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
