need another drink. this is the easiest way
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize