Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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