??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
