butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
