I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
