so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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