i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
