It's Friday. Sex?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
