Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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