Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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