Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
