Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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