btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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