I'm going to jail i love you
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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