Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
