On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
