the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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