I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I love you.
Bad choice
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
