he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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