How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
