So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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