I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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