my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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