i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
