theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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