A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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