It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
