Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
